she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need a beard to bite.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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