Dual....:-)
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
