my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
