so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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