She is in my trunk
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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