During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
this is an emotional support booty call
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
