Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
