just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
