Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
