so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why do cheetos always look like penises
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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