you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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