so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
