ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
