I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
