my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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