Princesses don't give blow jobs
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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