Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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