my text book just quoted the cookie monster
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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