Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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