I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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