You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
