New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize