Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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