Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
