I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She even gives head with a lisp.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
