jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
