Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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