My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
