I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
