Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
