Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
