don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
