and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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