I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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