so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
