me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize