New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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