Tell her she can't have a vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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