He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
