Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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