her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
