morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
