I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
