..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
