I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
