can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
