I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
