doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
