the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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