idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
