he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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