I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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