Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
