did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
