We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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