What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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