Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
