According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
