Define "chronic" masturbator.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm like, not good at living.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
