its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
