Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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