i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
