i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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