Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
