How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
