Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
